From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
When we perform, it feels humiliating, exhausting, demoralising, exclusionary to do. When we mask, conform, and hide aspects of who we are, it actually hurts and damages us in the end. The adapted self willingly, happily chooses to adapt, to adjust our behaviour to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Individuals who are creative are sensitive, they can be vulnerable and can take things incredibly personally – often they are putting the rawest version of themselves out there so when that's criticised it can be really difficult and damaging. We try to put ourselves in our client's shoes and champion empathy as a team.
Before you succeed, you must first learn to fail. If you keep repeating the same thing, you're always going to fail, you need to adjust. We have to look at failures and use them as an educational tool.
It seems, to me, that relationships are face to face things. There is no point in having a virtual relationship if you are never going to see those individuals again as it crowds your 'mental boxes'. To think of this in context, they are real cognitive limits.
We engage in this kind of behaviour even more enthusiastically when we're anxious about being excluded or left out.
I think this goes into the history of psychology; for example, 100 years ago, we couldn't even measure what an emotion is. It's something in your head and in your brain, and we were always used to measuring behaviour, not people's psychological experiences. So just from that alone, it became less important because it wasn't observable behaviour, as if what people are thinking and feeling doesn't matter—which is obviously crazy; it does matter.
There's a moment when the unconscious crystallises into consciousness, leading to all our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In ancient texts, this moment is referred to as 'vedana', and we describe them as 'feeling tones.' These feeling tones are the mind's initial acknowledgment or categorisation of experiences as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.
Technology claims to be showing us a mirror of what was already present in society- racism, conspiracy theories- but in reality, technology is a funhouse mirror with a feedback loop that's engineered to show us the most egregious parts of society… those parts that are better at keeping our attention. The mirror gets more and more warped, but we mistake it for an honest and neutral view of who we are.
Birds are not born with an innate genetically determined knowledge of constellations. What they do has been brilliantly shown in an experiment by Stephen Emlen.
Success is different for everyone, but for me success has always been about finding meaning and personal fulfillment. While that may have meant different things at different times in my life, learning, making meaningful connections with people and helping others achieve this same level of satisfaction has been a sign of success for me.
Small hedge funds do better than big ones... big hedge funds did better when they were small... therefore the industry did better when it was small... That third step in the logic is something that investors don't spend a lot of time thinking about because there's nobody around to point that out to them!
I think these are all cases where our brains lie to us. It's not because they're doing something insidious or that there's some advantage to messing up our sense of happiness—it's just the normal processes of our brains sometimes go awry, and we end up not appreciating what we have as much as we could.