From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
Music is something that affects your senses in a way that nothing else really can- it's like a time-travel portal! You can listen to something and it transports back to that place… that bar… that nightclub… that time with your friends….
Every soldier who enters the military knows what makes the grass grow. Civilians are like, 'okay… sun? Water? Photosynthesis?…' for us? Its blood, we say the bright red blood makes the green grass grow.
As a psychotherapist, you have diagnostic categories for problems. There are specific techniques and therapies to apply. So the book really comes out of that frustration. If you think about science, it progresses from description, to categorisation, then to explanation, prediction, and control — and I wanted to feel like there was some science behind what I was doing.
Tuning into these feeling tones reveals their powerful influence – they often control our lives in ways we're completely unaware of.
Look at Jeff Bezos telling his 1.5 million employees to 'wake up every morning terrified and stay terrified all day.' They're not getting rich; they're barely scraping by. Yet he wants them living in terror so he can get even richer. That's crazy. That's a crazy society and a crazy life.
We flee from affliction the way an animal flees from death. There's a sense in which it's perfectly natural that our response to difficulty in life is aversive. We're only going to be able to live well with the difficulties of life if we face up to them, because they're difficult.
The reason why I fight is that I'm fighting against the pain of seeing my family get sick and fighting against not being able to help them. That's more painful than anything. To see my kids, get sick tomorrow and not being able to help them? That's more painful than anything I would experience in a fight.
I never had a conscious thought that music would be my everything, but I never had anything that pulled me elsewhere, and anything that threatened that sacred part of my life felt like an assault on my being and my sense of worth.
We only make progress by getting up from getting kicked to the ground. How does a baby learn to walk? It falls, gets back up… falls, gets back up, and one day its running. You will fall, stumble and fail- that's inevitable. You need to analyse it when it happens, learn from those mistakes, and move on. Don't dwell on failure.
There's compelling evidence to suggest that the current mental health crisis among the youth may, to some extent, stem from individuals who haven't had the chance to navigate smaller tribulations and are consequently overwhelmed when faced with significant challenges.
One of the most important pieces of advice I could give you is to keep the conversation casual, inquisitive and authentic. Casual means keep it light, don't try and get too deep or specific! Inquisitive means don't keep talking about you! Ask people about themselves, their lives, their career, get to know them! Authentic means be real, don't try and force a networking persona on yourself, just be relaxed and be your natural self.
There's a moment when the unconscious crystallises into consciousness, leading to all our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In ancient texts, this moment is referred to as 'vedana', and we describe them as 'feeling tones.' These feeling tones are the mind's initial acknowledgment or categorisation of experiences as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.