Wisdom in fragments

Whatever you are going through, could lead you to something even better. You cannot often control what happens to you- but you can control your response to it. In a way, serendipity is about taking agency over your life more!

Look at someone like Leonardo da Vinci, he was interested in so many different areas, and connected the dots to create his amazing work. Look at Steve Jobs. He took calligraphy at university, and applied it to create the user interface for the Mac! The more we understand, the more we can ask questions.

Instead of saying 'I'm a technology entrepreneur…' you might say, 'well, I run a technology business, but I love philosophy and playing the piano…' the person you're speaking to now has a few more dots to connect! It takes active engagement in conversation to do this – you can't be passive and on autopilot.

We are held back by our deep, underlying fears. Fears of rejection, fears of being the imposter. We need to reframe these fears and work on regret minimisation. If you didn't take that action, spark up that conversation, or try that idea, would you regret it? if you would- then don't hesitate, do it.

Serendipity is about active luck, it's about the luck we create for ourselves and how we imbue meaning into the unexpected. Our reaction to unexpected moments can determine what happens in the future; that's a big component of what we perceive as 'luck.'

Being authentic is a privilege. Not everyone has the ability or luxury to do this. Sometimes as leaders, we need to speak less and listen more, to make room for other voices to be centred. We rein in our authenticity by being more adaptive so others can fill this space with their authenticity.

Canadian actress known for role in "Quantico" TV series

When we show our vulnerabilities, what we are insecure about, we are more transparent in how we lead, this is what unlocks cultures of inclusion, empowerment, agency, and psychological safety. We signal to our team members, 'you can trust me' and as a leader, it is vital we show up more authentically.

Canadian actress known for role in "Quantico" TV series

When we perform, it feels humiliating, exhausting, demoralising, exclusionary to do. When we mask, conform, and hide aspects of who we are, it actually hurts and damages us in the end. The adapted self willingly, happily chooses to adapt, to adjust our behaviour to meet our needs and the needs of others.

Canadian actress known for role in "Quantico" TV series

No-one is perfect. In fact, we are perfectly imperfect. When we do the self-reflection work to reveal who we are, everyone has bad and ugly in them and we may not like what we see, but that's what healing and doing our work to grow as individuals and as leaders is all about.

Canadian actress known for role in "Quantico" TV series

As children we experience a domestication process the same way animals do, where rather than having who we are, our authenticity, our essence unlocked for us, instead we have put upon us layers and layers of rules. We take this very complicated, confusing, and demoralising code of behaviour into our adulthood with us.

Canadian actress known for role in "Quantico" TV series

I define authenticity as the consistent practice of choosing to know who we are and embracing who we are. For a lot of us, we come to know who we are, but then we rail against our identities. I got so used to conforming, masking aspects of my identity that I became lost in my identity. I didn't know who I was. I was completely lost.

Canadian actress known for role in "Quantico" TV series

Gender identity drives self-socialization. People think adults socialise their children, but children socialise themselves. We see the same process in the Great Apes. Young females imitate their mother – and copy the diet and tool techniques of their mothers much more reliably than the young males do.

Primatologist & behavioral psychologist who studies animal cognition and emotions

The smallest male can be dominant based on his social skills. Think about it; nobody walks into a big store in London and assumes the biggest person is the boss! It might be the old man; it might be the young woman!

Primatologist & behavioral psychologist who studies animal cognition and emotions

I've known many individual monkeys and apes, and I'm struck by how much diversity and gender diversity there is which I have been ignoring. We always look for typical behaviours… a typical male does X… a typical female does Y. We overemphasise the typicality of men and women. If we start looking in primates, we'll almost certainly find the same sort of gender diversity we find in humans.

Primatologist & behavioral psychologist who studies animal cognition and emotions

In society, we assume (still) that male dominance is natural, and that males will make better leaders. We see no evidence of that in primates. We assume (still) that homosexual behaviour isn't natural, but we find homosexual behaviours in all primates. In some of our closest species- such as the bonobo- it's extremely common, perhaps as common as heterosexual behaviour.

Primatologist & behavioral psychologist who studies animal cognition and emotions

Biology doesn't need to be obeyed, but it always needs to be considered. If we discuss gender differences, we cannot act as if biology doesn't exist. We live at a time where a group of people – for ideological reasons – have made it clear that they think we can shove biology aside, that everything is culturally constructed, and we can act like biology doesn't exist. That's not going to work, that's not how the world works.

Primatologist & behavioral psychologist who studies animal cognition and emotions