From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
I have learnt that situations in themselves are not inherently stressful. Our perception of situations is what creates stress for us. Some players thrive in the biggest sporting occasions and others struggle to cope.
When I got better, even simple things like being able to wake-up, go for a walk, speak, and observe life, felt viscerally stunning and good. I found a state of being – a state that gave me perspective and feeling about life and my place in it.
The more people that must be involved, the less likely the theory is to be true. A couple of people could pull it off, hundreds or thousands of people would have to be involved, and it's not likely because we would hear about it.
We embrace imposter syndrome because it gives us a chance to get off the hook. If you're an imposter it feels like the kind, mature thing to do is to not ship the work and to say, 'no, this isn't for me to do…' In fact, imposter syndrome is a symptom that we are leading because leaders are doing something that's never been done before and so of course you will feel like an imposter, because you are one!
Habituation is a very basic mechanism. It's something we find in every neuron and every system of our brain, including our fundamental abilities like perception. Essentially, we stop responding to and perceiving things that are not changing or are changing very gradually.
The stress response is designed for '3 minutes of screaming terror across the Savannah.' If you're not experiencing such an intense moment, it's likely that your stress response isn't calibrated right. At its core, stress is a primal reaction meant for life-threatening situations where our options are to freeze, flee, or fight.
We often project our 'superhero' aspirations onto our leaders and vulnerability, and other more human traits, are not always encouraged. Organisational leaders often experience loneliness, and the 'truth' within their company is often illusive to them because subordinates will often tell them what they want to hear.
Fear is like being shot out of a cannon. Imagine a car has fallen on someone I love—I get this clear, calm, intense bolt of energy. Anxiety, on the other hand, is like being haunted. You never actually see what's scaring you—it's just a story in your head that never goes away.
You can have your best day and your worst day on the same day. There's so much happening at once, and everything happens so fast… the emotional highs and lows are tense.
Without what Becker called 'cultural world views' we would be overwhelmed by existential terror. Beliefs about reality that we share foster psychological equanimity by giving us a sense of meaning and value.
The real power lies in being able to apply these techniques in everyday life. Whether you're on the subway, stuck in traffic, or taking a stroll in the park, these practices are accessible.
You are pure awareness. That's who the 'I' is. And awareness is energy. You are pure energy, which is the essence of awareness. Awareness is concentrated energy.