From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
Bystander effect isn't necessarily due to a lack of willingness or ability to make a difference. Rather, the real challenge stems from feeling overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the issues we're passionate about. They're vast, and against them, we often feel insignificant.
When our original participants reached approximately 80 years of age, we invited them to reflect on their lives. We asked, 'What are your greatest sources of pride, and what are your deepest regrets?' The predominant regret was the disproportionate time spent working and the inadequate time spent with loved ones.
All you've got to do is- to their face- call yourself every name that they are harbouring about you, it's that simple; it means you're demonstrating understanding. Whatever adjective from your culture best describes the worst possible name they could think of for you- all you've got to do is look them in the eye and say you feel I am – that's super simple, right? The thing is, it may sound easy- but it's hard to do- but if you can do it- it can unlock a situation in a heartbeat.
I once got a troll who read something about me and tweeted, 'The only thing I want to read about you is your obituary...' my comeback, 'well, at least I'll get one mate!' – that accepts his position (that he only wants to read my obituary) and turns it back at him without aggression. That's how you have to do it, that's the basic rule.
Caregiving taught me about the dual nature of love—it's both an internal and external commitment. As a caregiver, I realised the importance of self-care, not just for my own well-being, but so that I could be there for him. This created a symbiotic and reciprocal relationship; in giving, I received abundantly, and we both were uplifted.
Seeing the Earth framed through the shuttle's small windows versus seeing it from outside was like the difference between looking at fish in an aquarium versus scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef… I was really out there, floating in it, swimming in it. I felt like a real spaceman…
There is a specific type of person you'll often find in these long-lasting organisations: thoughtful, future-oriented, introspective, and often self-critical. These individuals are focused on making a positive impact in the world and serving the organisation rather than seeking personal gain.
What motivates great entrepreneurs is fear of failure; and here's the thing – most entrepreneurs fail several times before they achieve success, and the more you fail, the more fear you have.
Research has shown that when you compare the effect of a 1% change in unemployment rate and 1% change in the inflation rate; a 1% increase in unemployment has a bigger impact on people's happiness than a 1% increase in inflation.
To overcome extreme obstacles, to do the impossible, you have to create another human being inside yourself. I had to create an image of how I wanted to look, how I wanted to act, how I wanted to believe, how hard I wanted to push. I trained that image in my mind, and then I had to become an artist to create it.
I'm drawn here quite often to thinking about impressionist art like Monet or Pissarro which have a beautiful incompleteness- they're just scratches and blobs on canvas but done so well that the brain is drawn into completing the image. That's partly why paintings like that have such aesthetic appeal- because they're engaging the mechanisms of the brain in completing the picture.
There are things in our lives that aren't ideal, but because we've habituated to them, we're not as motivated to change them. This also applies to societal issues like racism or sexism—because they've been present for so long, we might not notice them as much and therefore feel less motivated to address them.