From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
The silence we've adopted, along with the habits, behaviours, and patterns we've established, don't have to dictate how we proceed today or tomorrow, even if they characterized our yesterdays. It's challenging, to be clear. Changing behaviours is difficult. But on the other side of that challenge lies the opportunity for us to meet our needs, to build the teams we truly intend to build.
In my interactions at the Samaritans, I've encountered a recurring theme: many individuals grappling with suicidal thoughts are often trying to navigate through what feels like an irreversible loss of status and the deep-seated need for connection and belonging. This insight underscores the profound impact that a perceived loss in these areas can have on an individual's well-being.
You have to step back and focus on the merits of the offer- not the person who brought the offer to you. That's how you defend yourself. You recognise that there's something that goes on first as important as the message itself inclining you towards purchase or agreement.
This kind of play improved all of my cognitive skills and really showed me how journeys that began with curiosity could turn into bigger dreams.
You shouldn't think of yourself as the person you are now – you are constantly changing – this is often called a growth mindset. When you think about human nature, you think of it as malleable, as something constantly growing and in-flux rather than something fixed.
Music is often better than speech at conveying and understanding emotion, because music has a kind of openness and ambiguity to it. Words, on the other hand, tend to put things into boxes. If I say, I'm happy, but also a bit sad, nervous, winsome, and tired, those words are still boxes. But if I play you a passage of music — maybe something by Elgar — you might think, Yes, that's exactly how I feel.
The stress response is designed for '3 minutes of screaming terror across the Savannah.' If you're not experiencing such an intense moment, it's likely that your stress response isn't calibrated right. At its core, stress is a primal reaction meant for life-threatening situations where our options are to freeze, flee, or fight.
The Ancient Greeks believed philosophy was a medicine for the soul. Socrates said 'I teach my student how to take care of their souls', which is where the word psychotherapy comes from. Cicero said, 'there's a medical art for the soul, and its name is philosophy'.
Fear depends on your context, and how much you think you have to lose. You may be young or broke and have nothing to lose. In that case? Either you figure out a way to get something, or you don't get it. Simple.
Making mistakes is necessary- if you don't make mistakes, you can never grow. Every failure is a little lesson in how to be a winner. Failure is an opportunity to learn, to start again, to see problems, and find solutions. Failing may be the reason you win next time!
Words like mistake, error and complication are not helpful. They carry visceral, emotive, weight which hampers learning and thus obscures what you may be able to take from an event. Over the past 20 years, we've moved away from that terminology towards the language of adverse events.
There is a certain kind of X factor that is really hard to define, but it is the thing that makes a person stand out when they walk into a room or makes you magnetically drawn to walk towards them at a party or a gathering. It is often about authenticity and being true to themselves, because I think most people are very good at reading what is and what is not authentic.