From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
We found that individuals who habitually pushed away problems and difficulties, or those who opted to ignore their issues or avoid confronting them, tended to suffer more and fared less well overall. On the other hand, those who confronted their troubles directly, often seeking the support of others to navigate through these challenges, were the ones who exhibited the highest levels of resilience.
I want to set an example for this generation of war reporters, and for my generation as a whole, that you don't have to rely on drugs or alcohol to cope with traumatic experiences.
You cannot fully realize your own self in isolation. It's a collective effort; your uniqueness is essentially shaped by everyone else in the world. Everyone else plays a role in sculpting your distinct identity. Individuality is essentially a community project.
One of the best analogies I've heard in this scenario is that, just as you wouldn't want a surgeon to go from one operating theater to the next without having washed their hands, you don't want a manager to go from one context to the next without being in a position where they can actually do some good—or at least do no harm.
Most people I would consider world-class, successful entrepreneurs never volunteered for the job. They were kicked out like the guy who offended the king and was kicked out of the city walls.
We have the unusual paradox of being both highly individualistic, yet in essence social. We exist in what I describe as a collective survival exercise.
But when it comes to claims like 'pets alleviate depression,' there's really no solid evidence. In fact, the findings so far are pretty ambiguous. And in one study that found no significant overall effect, cat owners were actually more depressed than the control group.
Built into her edict, is not to feel any guilt if you find happiness or joy after her death. That is an extraordinarily generous piece of advice.
99.9% of the time, you are not in a burning building- and that is precisely the time to think about what you would do in that 0.1% of time when it is on fire.
We're only just acknowledging the importance of those relationships. They're incredibly important because when they're positive, they're a source of joy, energy, productivity, and resilience. There's a lot of research that shows that when we have friends at work, we are more resilient, and we perform better.
I often have odd conversations where people say, 'Should we take happiness seriously?' And I pause and ask, 'How do you feel about misery and suffering—are those not bad? Do they not matter at all?' Then they admit, 'Oh yeah'. I then ask 'so, don't you think it's good if people enjoy their lives?' And they say, 'I suppose so.' So, everyone agrees happiness matters to some extent – but we often forget this and need to bring it to the surface.
Magic is this incredibly weird bondage and discipline you make where you say to someone, 'do this thing to me that's morally wrong… you have my consent…' – once you give your consent, the morality changes.