From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
Very few people know how the bottom feels, but I do. It's like quicksand. It grabs you, sucks you under and won't let go. When life is like that it's easy to drift and continue to make the same comfortable choices that are killing you, over and over again.
The 'compare and despair' generation is constantly bombarded with unrealistic portrayals of success, leading everyone to feel inadequate, regardless of their achievements. We all have flaws and recognize our weaknesses, and there will always be someone who seems better in some way.
People like to compare such rare payoffs to lottery tickets. This is way off. We know from the availability heuristic that people overestimate the likelihood of an event based on their ability to envision it—the risk of plane crash versus car crash is the best example of this.
Loneliness very much defines what this century has become. It's a feeling of being disconnected from our government, our fellow citizens and our employer. That feeling of being invisible, unseen and unheard occurs not just from those we are closest to but also from our workplace and state.
Our number one instinct is survival, followed by reproduction. People started to realise that if they took care of themselves, they would live longer, have better sex and have healthier children.
Education attenuates conspiracism such as those without a high school diploma are twice as likely to believe conspiracy theories than people with a graduate degree. But 1 in 5 people with a graduate degree believe in conspiracy theories, which is 20% – that is a high number. Education does not entirely eliminate it.
My job is to help people recognise the origins and intentions behind these responses. Unlike the common societal and professional desire to dismiss these responses as merely negative, I believe we should examine them more closely. How is drinking serving you?
Four days before she died, she challenged my daughter and I to try and find a pocketful of happiness in each day, which has become the mantra by which we navigate the abyss of grief, following her death. I don't think you ever get over grief, you just have to find a way to accommodate and travel around it.
You cannot fully realize your own self in isolation. It's a collective effort; your uniqueness is essentially shaped by everyone else in the world. Everyone else plays a role in sculpting your distinct identity. Individuality is essentially a community project.
If you know what's inside your head and you understand its structures, rules, and functions, it avoids glitches. You can almost think of it like three sock puppets! You, this little chimp, and a computer, trying to run your life.
For me, our sophisticated way of communicating- with words- is that crucial difference. It meant that for the first time, we could teach another about something that wasn't present… whereas young chimps just learn by observing. We can read books about the distant past, and plan the distant future.
If you want to do something well you do it 1,000 times, if you want to do something great you do it 10,000 times.