Psychology

I often discuss what I call 'double trauma,' where current stress triggers a deeper, unresolved issue from the past. This dual-layer perspective is crucial: first, we address the immediate stressors; this is where most people begin.

My job is to help people recognise the origins and intentions behind these responses. Unlike the common societal and professional desire to dismiss these responses as merely negative, I believe we should examine them more closely. How is drinking serving you?

My resilience, I believe, is inherited from my parents. They, ordinary in every sense, achieved the extraordinary for us, their children, striving to offer opportunities they never had. They embodied perseverance, teaching me to distinguish a bad day from a bad life, to persist, and to adapt. My parents' immense influence, coupled with my stubbornness, shaped my journey.

Syrian Swimmer & Refugee Advocate Who Competed in Olympics

We typically advise families to be very cautious about engaging with social media. Information found there can often be based on assumptions, leading to wildly inaccurate theories that only heighten anxiety for those following the situation. The key is to have someone knowledgeable and understanding by your side—someone who can interpret the situation and provide support throughout this trying experience.

Envoy and Negotiator Who Was Held Hostage in Lebanon

Once released, former hostages encounter a myriad of practical issues—closed bank accounts, lapsed insurance, and the need for specialised medical and dental care that isn't readily available. They might also require physical therapy among other medical treatments. It's not just the hostage who suffers, but their entire family. In some cases, families endure greater agony, living in uncertainty about their loved one's fate.

Envoy and Negotiator Who Was Held Hostage in Lebanon

There are various forms of hostage-taking, each with distinct characteristics. Broadly speaking, one can categorise them into political and criminal hostage-takings. Political hostage-taking involves abducting someone to gain a political leverage—this is the first type. The second type is criminal hostage-taking, where the motive is ransom. Both types are illegal, as forcibly detaining someone is a criminal act, but the distinction helps clarify the underlying motives.

Envoy and Negotiator Who Was Held Hostage in Lebanon

In my experience, there is a profound difference when counselling involves someone who has personally endured captivity or whose family has dealt with hostage situations. Time and again, I've observed that people find it extremely beneficial to speak with someone who can directly relate to their experience. An empathetic counsellor without this background can indeed offer substantial support, but speaking with someone who truly understands what it means to be in that situation adds a unique layer of comfort and understanding.

Envoy and Negotiator Who Was Held Hostage in Lebanon

From her, I learned that grief is the cost of deep love. By keeping this awareness ever-present in our daily lives, it prompts us to reflect on the importance of life. 'What do I want to do today, knowing tomorrow is not promised to me?'

Author of "From Scratch" memoir and television producer

Grief is perhaps the most universal human experience—live long enough, and you will grieve. When I see grief in another, whether a friend or a perceived adversary, what do I choose to do? In moments of shared grief, we find ourselves reflecting each other; your grief mirrors mine.

Author of "From Scratch" memoir and television producer

People often talk about life hacks, but for me, the real 'hack' is simply to remain curious and willing. It's about living in a space between willingness and curiosity—willing to embrace discomfort as you pursue questions, without a clear idea of the answers.

Author of "From Scratch" memoir and television producer

Much of our learning, expansion, and deepening as humans occur within the realm of connectivity, particularly through the conversations we dare to have when we are most vulnerable and authentic. Simply by engaging in genuine, open dialogue, something transformative happens.

Author of "From Scratch" memoir and television producer

Caregiving taught me about the dual nature of love—it's both an internal and external commitment. As a caregiver, I realised the importance of self-care, not just for my own well-being, but so that I could be there for him. This created a symbiotic and reciprocal relationship; in giving, I received abundantly, and we both were uplifted.

Author of "From Scratch" memoir and television producer

I don't label it as a self-care or self-help book; I describe it as a self-destruct book. The reason for this unconventional title stems from the inherent problem with self-care: we are often our own worst caregivers. Left to our own devices, we tend to blow things out of proportion and expect the world to change to make us happy.

Psychologist known for research on child development and magical thinking in children

Becoming more optimistic involves meticulously noting down your problems and then systematically reinterpreting them to find the most positive alternative explanation. I describe this process as becoming your own advocate—stepping outside yourself, scrutinizing your initial interpretations, and challenging them with counterarguments.

Psychologist known for research on child development and magical thinking in children

While people may have more connections than ever, these connections often lack depth; they are rarely reciprocal and seldom provide emotional sustenance. The pain of loneliness is something else entirely—stemming from being deliberately excluded, ostracized, or bullied. This type of isolation is literally painful, as it activates the pain centers in the brain.

Psychologist known for research on child development and magical thinking in children

The 'compare and despair' generation is constantly bombarded with unrealistic portrayals of success, leading everyone to feel inadequate, regardless of their achievements. We all have flaws and recognize our weaknesses, and there will always be someone who seems better in some way. Thus, no one is ever fully satisfied.

Psychologist known for research on child development and magical thinking in children