From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
A lot of people think we're pleasure motivated hedonists, but it turns out we have many other goals. We want happiness, but that comes in many different forms. We want pleasure, we want to be good people, we want to make a difference in the world.
The way I prefer to think of perception is as a processor of active construction, a controlled hallucination. Sensory signals don't come with labels attached. Everything we perceive is a kind of inference, a burst guess about what's out there.
To be a happy human being, we must each have an extraordinary life and an ordinary life. We need both to be connected and happy. We were born to find what we can be extraordinary at, alongside leading our ordinary lives. The important thing is to find both lives and hold onto them.
When you have the confidence that you really are an expert closer, you're a competent closer, the word no doesn't matter, because you know that there's going to be a certain number of no's and a certain number of yes's.
I urge everyone to channel their inner teenager. Think back to those fearless days brimming with creativity and ambition. As we age, societal rewards for 'playing it safe' can stifle our innovative spirit.
Whatever you are going through, could lead you to something even better. You cannot often control what happens to you- but you can control your response to it. In a way, serendipity is about taking agency over your life more!
I was comfortable, but miserable. I wanted to be out on my own, vulnerable, suffering, and in pain, but with the beauty of me versus the distance.
Trust is the golden thread that runs through not just a kidnap negotiation or a business deal, but life in general. It takes a long time to build, but it's lost in an instant. Trust is about following through—doing what you say you're going to do.
I think this goes into the history of psychology; for example, 100 years ago, we couldn't even measure what an emotion is. It's something in your head and in your brain, and we were always used to measuring behaviour, not people's psychological experiences. So just from that alone, it became less important because it wasn't observable behaviour, as if what people are thinking and feeling doesn't matter—which is obviously crazy; it does matter.
When I say books can save us; books can be our dear friends, our amazing teachers, our loyal companions of the road, I really mean it, because it happened to me.
You start by asking yourself certain questions: who am I? what is it that wants to know who I am? What do I want for myself and the world? What is my purpose? What gives me meaning and purpose in life?
When I sense stress, I allot three minutes to fully immerse myself in it. Many individuals attempt to escape stress, but evasion often amplifies it. It's akin to instructing someone not to think of pink elephants; the very command makes it impossible not to.