From 600+ conversations with the world’s leading thinkers.
There's no way electrical signals alone can produce the sensation of taste. That's the hard problem of consciousness: qualia—the sensations and feelings through which we know the world and ourselves—bear no resemblance to electrical impulses, and physics offers no explanation for how one could give rise to the other.
Based on my experience, I can say that healing is possible without forgiveness. It's perfectly valid for some people to choose never to forgive. There's a prevalent belief that forgiveness is necessary, as if something is wrong with you if you don't forgive. I disagree with this notion.
If you tell me a pursuit that you view as meaningful and important, I can guarantee it won't be easy. If it was easy, it wouldn't be meaningful or important. We reserve the notion of meaning for things that have difficulty.
I want you to not deny your shadow, your darkest impulses, but to find ways to use them and turn them into something productive. We ought to take that ambition, those aggressive impulses, and channel them into our work, into great causes, into justice.
Silence is, by definition, an absence—an absence of voice, opinion, and life. It begins so subtly that it often goes unnoticed. We start by withdrawing or withholding our genuine thoughts from conversations, replacing them with what we presume others want to hear.
There's a direct link between mental health and immunity. If you go through a divorce, if you are in a car accident, or if you suffer some major trauma to your body… your cortisone rises, adrenaline goes-up. You could have enough of an immune response to get pneumonia.
We tend to go deeper with that in terms of specific facial expressions, body language, and vocal tone. And I think what's important to know there is that we often make a lot of mistakes when we're reading other people's emotions because we bring in our own cultural values, our own belief systems, and we oftentimes project emotions onto people as opposed to really knowing how they're feeling.
We must not only use the emotional part of exploration, but also the state of mind of exploration which encourages us to get out of our bad habits, beliefs, everything we know, our comfort zone, and even our way of thinking. The mindset of exploration encourages us to find new solutions.
You create change in other people when you're totally honest, transparent, and authentic. When you show people who you really are, with all your flaws, with all your vulnerabilities…it moves them.
We found that individuals who habitually pushed away problems and difficulties, or those who opted to ignore their issues or avoid confronting them, tended to suffer more and fared less well overall. On the other hand, those who confronted their troubles directly, often seeking the support of others to navigate through these challenges, were the ones who exhibited the highest levels of resilience.
I remember one particular interview with a boy, Peter, aged just 14. He told me how he posted on Instagram and then waited and waited for someone to like his posts. When they didn't' it made him feel awful and invisible. It's so heart-wrenching to think of that.
There's a moment when you look at good art when time changes… It's as if time no longer exists, becomes longer, or is suspended. There's a moment of reverie when you're fully immersed in something apart from yourself. One experiences this sometimes in meditation. These inexplicable, wonderful and mysterious experiences we have never leave us.